One Apple A Day: Healthy Life

Are you a little bit of worry due to your health? You are not fit? You want a sleek muscular body? but not getting these all...?
Don't You know that Doctors love Apple! This is very nice and healthy and also tasty food. You can lose much of pounds of your belly if you eat one apple a day.

There are a lot much of healthy things which proves fruitful for our body, keeps away us from the doctor, it is the healthy food and it also gives our body a sleek shape and toned body especially for females. Before this natural food, I have tried many many tricks, workouts, such as stunts, jogging, bodyweight burn plan by Ryan Murdock  and much more other supplements, but all results in harmful effects. Only one apple a day proves good for myself. You will love apple, It is not very costly food, you can easily get from food shop in some cents. So don't waste your time after today on these wasteful tricks, just try one apple, only one, per day, at morning. You will see the faster results and get body in fitness after some weeks. If You have any questions, Comment below don't feel shy while questioning.

Regards: Dr Steer

The Third Parent

A close friend of mine went overseas to study Islam, and before he left he visited a family he knew. He said that as he left, he noticed the son – who was seven years old at the time – slacked out on his stomach, chin locked in his two hands, staring deathly at the TV. When he returned after four full years, he visited the same family and found the same boy slacked out on his stomach, chin locked in his two hands, staring deathly at the TV - only now he was four years older.
This khutbah looks at the dark side of television. It is not intended to make you throw your television set off the balcony – although that would be nice. It is hoped that this khutbah will give you a better understanding of the destructive nature TV has on a person’s life, in this world and in the hereafter, not only on his own life, but also the lives of his family members.
In Qawaa’id Fiqhiyyaah there is a principle which states, "Al Waasaa’il ta’khudhu Hukm al-Ghaayaat," meaning, "The means takes the same ruling as the intention of what is trying to be attained." A television set, with its wires, screen, box, and plug is nothing more than a means. It is what is trying to be attained by that box that makes it haram or halaal. Another example is that of a gun; it can be used for noble purposes, such as defending one’s land from aggression, or it can serve as a means of considerable harm, especially when given to a child.
In an Arab ESL class, the teacher, in his opening lesson asked the students what English words were taken from the Arabic language. A few hands went up and students said things like, "Chemistry from keemiyaa," "Algebra from al-gebr," "Physics from feesiyaa," etc. Then he asked them what Arabic words were taken from the English language and answers came quickly. "Raadiyo from radio, " "Dosh from satellite dish, "and of course "Tilfaaz from television."
What did the West take from us, and what did we take from them?
With regards to television, Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Al-Fataawa [3/227]:
"…it is a dangerous device and its harmful effects are very great, like those of the cinema, or even worse. We know from the research that has been written about it and from the words of experts in Arab countries and elsewhere that it is dangerous and very harmful to Islamic beliefs (aqeedah), morals and the state of society. This is because it includes the presentation of bad morals, tempting scenes, immoral pictures, semi-nakedness, destructive speech and kufr. It encourages imitation of their conduct and ways of dressing, respect for their leaders, neglect of Islamic conduct and ways of dressing, and looking down on the scholars and heroes of Islam by portraying them in an off-putting manner that makes people despise them and ignore them. It shows people how to cheat, steal, hatch plots and commit acts of violence against others."
He continued, "Without doubt, anything that produces so many bad results should be stopped and shunned, and we have to close all the doors that could lead to it. If some of our brothers denounce it and speak out against it, we cannot blame them, because this is a part of sincerity towards Allah and towards other people."
In Sahih Al-Bukhari, when Guraayj was praying and his mother called him, he said to himself, "O Allah, my salah or my mother?" He did not know whether to continue his prayer or discontinue it and reply to his mother. Because he did not reply to this mother’s call, she cursed him. She said, "May you see a prostitute!" She did not say, "May there be a relationship between you and a prostitute." She just said, "May you see (one)." And her curse is one that we may inadvertently be inflicting on our children the day we sanctioned the introduction of the third parent called TV. How many times has the main theme of prime time TV revolved around prostitutes? How many times have our children witnessed it? How many times have they been cursed to be in such a situation?
Abdullah ibn 'Umar radi Allahu anhu once passed by some people killing time by playing chess. He was shocked at this and angrily said to them, quoting the verse of the Qur’an: What are these IDOLS that you are standing in vigilance over?
What would he think if he saw the television set and the welcoming hug it receives in most Muslim homes? When a Muslim nation plays in the World Cup, over three million Muslims from that one country tune in to television to watch the game. Multiply that by the duration of the match, and you have almost five million hours of the ummah’s time wasted on a football game, in one sweeping night. If Karl Marx said in 1844 that "Religion is the opium of people," then what about TV?
RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:
"The person shall be (on the day of Judgment) with those that he loves."
Tell a Muslim child that if he loves Michael Jackson so much, then on the Day of Judgment he will get to be with him. It’s sad, but most Muslim children would get happy and excited about the prospect. Isn’t that enough to strike fear into our hearts? Who are the Muslim children really going to be with on the Day of Repayment? Most of them cannot tell you the names, even just the names, of those people that we hope them to be with!
Let’s ask ourselves, if we allowed our sons or daughters to put up a poster of their hero, the one whom they think is the 'coolest,' would their hero be their father or mother? Would it be the Prophet or his companions? Or would it be a basketball player that he saw on TV? Or an actor (even a cartoon character) that he saw on TV? Or a model that she saw on TV? Or a musician that he/she saw on TV? Who would it be?
Some argue that TV time is monitored in the house by the parent. However, 95% of parents with children aged 8 and over don’t monitor the viewing material. Besides, what happens if the parent dies on the way to work one day and the children inherit the TV? RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:
"There is not a single shepherd (Ameer) that Allah entrusted with a flock – who if he dies in a state where he cheated them – Allah shall forbid him from entering paradise!" The 'ulama would quote this hadith in regard to the father in a Muslim country that would allow a satellite dish to enter into the home of his family which Allah entrusted him with.
Dear brothers and sisters, we are not here on earth to entertain ourselves to death. We are an ummah with a risaalah (message)! When Rib’ee ibn 'Aamir radi Allahu anhu stood at the hands of the king of Persia, he announced the message as proudly and as clearly as every Muslim should. "Allah sent us to rescue humanity from slavery to slaves - to the slavery of the Lord of all slaves; and to rescue them from the choke of the material life to the expanse of this life and the next, and from the corruption of the cults to the justice of Islam!"
Allah subhaanahu wa ta ‘aala states in the Qur’an:
"Verily! Hearing, sight, and the heart, all will be questioned (by Allah)." [Al-Israa 17/36]
And RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam informed us that on the Day of Repayment, no one will move until they are asked about three things, one of which will be their youth and how they spent it.
How are we spending our time? Why do we waste it watching TV? What do our eyes see, what do our ears hear on TV and how is our heart affected by this?
If we don’t know how to recite Qur’an, why aren’t we registering for a tajweed course at a Qur’an institute? If we don’t know the language of the Qur’an and Sunnah, why aren’t we registering for an Arabic program? If we don’t know about the life of RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam and his companions radi Allahu anhum why aren’t we attending the seerah and fiqh classes in our localities?
Also, with regards to TV, we should remember that Allah tells us in the Qur’an:
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do." [An-Noor 24/30]
How do reconcile these verses with the television that assaults our eyes with haram almost every second that it is on?
Who hasn’t heard of Cupid? They portray him in cartoons and comedies as a chubby child with wings who is supposed to be the Angel of Love, shooting arrows of 'love' when the male looks at the female. Rather dear brothers and sisters, it is Iblees! For RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam told us, "Verily the ‘look’ is a poisoned arrow from the arrows of Iblees!"
Shaykh At-Tahhaan once narrated an incident to his students:
It was late at night when Shaykh At-Tahhaan’s phone rang. This Muslimah whispered into the phone, 'Is this Shaykh At-Tahhaan?'
He said, 'Yes it is me.'
She kept saying, 'Is it really you?'
And he said, 'Yes, what is wrong?'
At that she just started sobbing and sobbing into the phone. After some time, she explained, 'The children’s father bought a TV and video machine two days ago. Tonight I found my young son practicing the haram that he saw on his younger sister! ' Then she collapsed sobbing again.
Everything starts with a look. Big fires start with a little spark.

PART II: Turn Off TV, Turn On Life

After a grueling first year in the Faculty of Shari’ah at the Islamic University in Madinah, I came home to Canada where I spoke to a friend whom I hadn’t spoken to for over a year. In the conversation he said, "Last night on TV Seinfeld said... " I was puzzled and realized that for an entire year I had not heard anything other than "Imam Shaafi’ee said…" and "Imam Abu Hanifah said…" It was this ignorance that Shaykh Abdul Muhsin 'Al-Abbaad referred to when he would say "We ask Allah ta’aala to increase us in it’s ignorance."
Some people argue that TV is just a harmless avenue of entertainment and that no one should make a big deal about it. It is interesting however that we see in Shari’ah that what is more deadly than haram is bid’ah. Why you ask? Because when someone does something haram like eating pork, he knows it is haram and that one day it is hoped that knowledge will lead him to fear Allah and refrain. Bid’ah, on the other hand, is something a person does with the hope of reward from Allah, something that the person considers to be 'harmless.' It is deadlier because the chances of this person correcting the situation are less due to the ignorance which causes a lack of motivation.
Other people say that they have a TV for the news and Islamic or educational programs. But we have to honestly ask ourselves – is there no other avenue to get the news? Is there no other means by which a child can be educated and stimulated to learn?
Didn’t anyone ask why we get all this 'free' TV? What does the TV sell? No it doesn’t sell Coke or Nike or McDonalds burgers; it sells the audience, it sells you to advertising companies! Why do you think they charge $1 million for 30 seconds of advertising in a Superbowl game?

Consider these facts:

Brand loyalty starts at age 2. They can snatch a child into a lifetime of allegiance to their product from that tender age. How old were you when you started loving Coke or Pepsi?
On average, a viewer watches 20,000 commercials each year. If we repeated a page of Qur’an to you that many times, do you think you would memorize it?
This is just regarding the products. But what about the aqeedah that we are being exposed to on TV. A whole stack of beliefs gets fed to us every time our children sit to watch and listen to their third parent. Where are the horrific stats for that?
Go to a lecture where the imam is talking about women’s rights in Islam. Listen to the Muslim males and females debate with the imam. Where do they get their points? Why do they become so hostile towards anything that contradicts the western view of women’s rights? Why is there no hostility towards the western view? Most of it was learned on TV, the rest was learned in the public school curriculum.
If this is the programming, the brain washing of our youth, then how can they be reprogrammed when they prefer the TV over anyone else. It is a fact that more than half of American children would rather watch TV than spend time with their mother or father.
In a survey which asked children what the one thing is which they would sacrifice their favorite TV shows for, many replied that if there was some sort of outside activity they would give preference to that. Meaning, if someone took them by the hand and organized some after school activities, they would embrace the idea.
Here is a list of other things that you can do instead of being shackled to the TV:

• Play outdoor games and exercise outdoors or at home.
• Build extra curricular skills, such as martial arts or calligraphy or sewing.
• Visit the library.
• Take on a job, which will ensure that you become serious about life and work.
• Do acts of worship like dhikr, salah, reciting Qur’an, fasting, and reflecting on the signs of Allah and His creation.
• Adopt an Islamic cause in the place where you live, and take part in it, such as teaching Muslim girls.
• Support an Islamic magazine by writing and sending articles, statistics and useful information of interest concerning Muslims in the west.
• Take part in charitable projects to help Muslim orphans, widows, divorcees and the elderly, or join a committee to help organize social programs and celebrations for Muslims on Eid.
• Find righteous friends to meet with and good neighbors to visit.
• Read Islamic books in particular and useful stories in general.
• Take part in da’wah activities and preschool programs in Islamic centers.
• Listen to tapes and lectures, write summaries of them, and distribute the summaries to anyone who could benefit from them.
• Cook items to be sold to raise funds for the Islamic center.
• Take an interest in computers and computer programs. This is a vast field that can fill a lot of time, and the computer can be used to do a lot of good things as well as providing entertainment in the form of permissible games.

Today is the beginning of a new day. Allah gave us this day to use as we will. We can waste it or use it for something good and beneficial.
But let us know that what we do today is important because we are exchanging a day of our life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever and in its place shall be something that we left behind; let that be something good and beneficial.

Rights of Child from Parents

Allaah has given children rights over their parents just as the parents have rights over their children.
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “Allaah has called them abraar (righteous) because they honoured (barru) their fathers and children. Just as your father has rights over you, so too your child has rights over you.
Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 94.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, according to a hadeeth narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar, “… and your child has rights over you.” Muslim, 1159.
The child’s rights over their children include some that come even before the child is born, for example:

Choosing a righteous wife to be a righteous mother

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Marry the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Ghani al-Dahlawi said: Choose from among women those who are religiously committed and righteous, and who are of good descent, for if a woman is of illegitimate descent, this bad characteristic may be passed to her children. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik”
[al-Noor 24:3]
Rather Islam recommends compatibility for the purpose of harmony and to avoid a person being shamed if he marries into a family that is not compatible.
Sharh Sunan Ibn Maajah, 1/141

It is Sunnah to do tahneek for the child when he is born

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The son of Abu Talhah was sick. Abu Talhah went out and the child died, and when Abu Talhah returned he said, “What happened to my son?” Umm Sulaym (his wife) said, ‘He is quieter than he was.” Then she brought him his dinner and he ate, then he had marital relations with her, and when he finished she said, “They buried the child.” The following morning, Abu Talhah went to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him what had happened. He said, “Did you have marital relations last night?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “O Allaah, bless them.” She later gave birth to a boy. Abu Talhah said to me, “Keep him until I bring him to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” He brought him to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I sent some dates with him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took him and said, “Is there anything with him?” They said, “Yes, some dates.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took some and chewed it, then he took some from his mouth and put it in the child’s mouth (tahneek), and named him ‘Abd-Allaah.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5153; Muslim, 2144
Al-Nawawi said:
The scholars are agreed that it is mustahabb to do tahneek with dates for the child when he is born; if that is not possible then to use some similar kind of sweet. The dates should be chewed until they become soft enough to be swallowed, then the child’s mouth should be opened and a little of the dates put in his mouth.
Sharh al-Nawawi ‘ala Muslim, 14/122-123

The child should be given a good name, such as ‘Abd-Allaah or ‘Abd al-Rahmaan

It was narrated from Naafi’ that Ibn ‘Umar said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most beloved of your names to Allaah are ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 2132)

It is mustahabb to give the child a Prophet’s name

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A child was born to me last night and I called him by the name of my father Ibraaheem.”
Narrated by Muslim, 2315
It is mustahabb to name the child on the seventh day, but there is nothing wrong with naming him on the day of his birth, because of the hadeeth quoted above.
It was narrated from Samurah ibn Jundub that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah which should be slaughtered for him on the seventh day, his head should be shaved and he should be named.
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2838; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4541
Ibn al-Qayyim said:
The purpose of naming is to define the thing named, because if there is something whose name is unknown it is difficult to refer to it. So it is permissible to name him (the child) on the day he is born, and it is permissible to delay the naming until the third day, or until the day of the ‘aqeeqah, or before or after that. The matter is broad in scope.”
Tuhfat al-Mawlood, p. 111

It is Sunnah to shave the child’s head on the seventh day and to give the weight of the hair in silver in charity.

It was narrated that ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) slaughtered a sheep as the ‘aqeeqah for al-Hasan, and he said, “O Faatimah, shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver in charity.” So she weighed it and its weight was a dirham or part of a dirham.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1519; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1226.

It is mustahabb for the father to do the ‘aqeeqah, as stated in the hadeeth quoted above, “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah.”

Two sheep should be sacrificed for a boy and one for a girl.
It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded them (to sacrifice) two similar sheep for a boy and one for a girl.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1513; Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1221; Abu Dawood, 2834; al-Nasaa’i, 4212; Ibn Maajah, 3163

Circumcision

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The fitrah is five things, or five things are part of the fitrah: circumcision, shaving the pubic hairs, plucking the armpit hairs, clipping the nails and trimming the moustache.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5550; Muslim, 257

The child’s rights with regard to education and upbringing

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of people is a shepherd and is responsible for them. The man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for them. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and child and is responsible for them. The slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2416; Muslim, 1829.
So parents must take care of teaching their children the duties of Islam and other virtues that are recommended in sharee’ah, and worldly matters that they need in order to live a decent life in this world.
The man should start by teaching them the most important things, then the next most important. So he starts by teaching them correct ‘aqeedah, free from shirk and bid’ah. Then he teaches them the acts of worship, especially prayer. Then he teaches them and trains them in good manners and characteristics, and everything that is good.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And (remember) when Luqmaan said to his son when he was advising him: “O my son! Join not in worship others with Allaah. Verily, joining others in worship with Allaah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed”
[Luqmaan 31:13]
It was narrated from ‘Abd al-Malik ibn al-Rabee’ ibn Sabrah from his father that his grandfather said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Teach the child to pray when he is seven years old, and smack him if he does not pray when he is ten.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 407; Abu Dawood, 494. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4025
It was narrated that al-Rubayyi’ bint Mu’awwidh said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent word on the morning of Ashoora’ to the areas where the Ansaar lived (on the outskirts of Madeenah), saying: Whoever did not fast this morning, let him not eat for the rest of the day, and whoever started fasting this morning, let him complete his fast. She said: We used to observe this fast after that, and we used to make our children fast and make them toys of wool; if one of them cried for food we would give him that toy until it was time to break the fast.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1859; Muslim, 1136
It was narrated that al-Saa’ib ibn Yazeed said: I was taken for Hajj with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when I was seven years old.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1759

Training in good manners and characteristics

Every father and mother should train their children in praiseworthy characteristics and good manners, whether towards Allaah, His Prophet the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), towards their Qur’aan and ummah, and with everyone whom they know and who has rights over them. They should not behave badly with those whom they mix with, their neighbours or their friends.
Al-Nawawi said:
The father must discipline his child and teach him what he needs to know of religious duties. This teaching is obligatory upon the father and all those in charge of children before the child reaches the age of adolescence. This was stated by al-Shaafa’i and his companions. Al-Shaafa’i and his companions said: This teaching is also obligatory upon the mother, if there is no father, because it is part of the child’s upbringing and they have a share of that and the wages for this teaching may be taken from the child’s own wealth. If the child has no wealth then the one who is obliged to spend on him may spend on his education, because it is one of the things that he needs. And Allaah knows best.
Sharh al-Nawawi ‘ala Saheeh Muslim, 8/44
The father should bring them up with good manners in all things, eating, drinking, dressing, sleeping, going out of the house, entering the house, riding in vehicles, etc, and in all their affairs. He should instill in them the attributes of a good man, such as love of sacrifice, putting others first, helping others, chivalry and generosity. He should keep them away from evil characteristics such as cowardice, stinginess, lack of chivalry, lack of ambition, etc.
Al-Manaawi said:
“Just as your parents have rights over you, so too your child has rights over you, rather many rights, such as teaching them the individual obligations, teaching them Islamic manners, giving them gifts equally, whether that is a gift, a waqf, or other gift. If preference is shown with no reason, that is regarded as invalid by some of the scholars and as makrooh by others.
Fayd al-Qadeer, 2/574
He must also protect his sons and daughters from everything that may bring them close to the Fire. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”
[al-Tahreem 66:6]
al-Qurtubi said:
al-Hasan commented on this verse by saying, Command them and forbid them. One of the scholars said: (The phrase) Ward off (or protect) yourselves includes children, because the child is part of him, as it says in the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “…nor on yourselves, if you eat from your houses…” [al-Noor 24:61], where the various relatives are not mentioned individually. So he should teach him what is halaal and what is haraam, and make him avoid sin, and teach him other rulings.
Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 18/194-195.

Spending

This is one of the father’s obligations towards his children; it is not permissible for him to fall short in that or to neglect this matter, rather he is obliged to do this duty in the fullest sense.
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is sufficient sin for a man if he neglects those on whom he is obliged to spend.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1692; classed as sahan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4481.
Another of the greatest rights is to give the child a good upbringing and take good care of him or her – especially in the case of girls. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged this righteous deed.
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Prophet (S) said: A woman came to me with two daughters and asked me for food, and I could not find anything except one date which I gave to her. She shared it between her two daughters, then she got up and went out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came in and I told him what had happened. He said: “Whoever is in charge of any of these girls and treats them well, they will be a shield for him against the Fire.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5649; Muslim, 2629
Another important matter which is one of the rights of children to which attention must be paid, is treating children fairly. This right was referred to by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the saheeh hadeeth: “Fear Allaah and treat your children fairly.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2447; Muslim, 1623). It is not permissible to show preference to females over males, just as it is not permissible to show preference to males over females. If the father makes this mistake and shows preference to some of his children over others, and does not treat them fairly, this will lead to many evils, such as:
The harm that befalls the father himself, for the children whom he denies or deprives will grow up to hate him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) referred to this in the hadeeth narrated by Muslim (1623) when he said to the father of al-Nu’maan, “Would you like them to honour you equally?” He said, “Yes.” In other words, if you want them all to honour you equally, then be fair in giving gifts to them.
Another evil consequence is the children hating one another, and stoking the flames of hatred and enmity between them.
And Allaah knows best.

Good Manners at Home

Spreading kindness in the home
'Aa'ishah (RA) said: "The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: 'When Allah (SWT) wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.'" [Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/71; Saheeh al-Jaami', 303]
According to another report:
"When Allah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them." [Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 1704]
In other words, they start to be kind to one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet (SAW) said:
"Allah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else." [Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Birr wa'l-Sillah wa'l-Aadaab, no. 2592]

Helping one's wife with the housework

Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work.
The Messenger of Allah (SAW), however, used to "sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes." [Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121; Saheeh al-Jaami', 4927]
This was said by his wife 'Aa'ishah (RA), when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to do in his house; her response described what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said:
"He was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself." [Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671]
She (RA) was also asked about what the Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to do in his house, and she said,
"He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray." [Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 2/162]
If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:

1. We would be following the example of the Prophet (SAW).
2. We would be helping our wives.
3. We would feel more humble, not arrogant.

Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food. Let these Hadith be a reminder and a lesson.

Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family

Showing affection towards one's wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allah (SAW) advised Jabir (RA) to marry a virgin, saying,
"Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?" [The hadeeth is reported in a number of places in the Saheehayn, such as al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 9/121]
The Prophet (SAW) also said:
"Everything in which Allah's name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wife." [Reported by al-Nisaa'i in 'Ushrat al-Nisa', p. 87; also in Saheeh al-Jaami']
The Prophet (SAW) used to treat his wife 'Aa'ishah (RA) affectionately when doing ghusl with her, as she (RA) said:
"The Messenger of Allah and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel, and he would pretend to take all the water so that I would say, 'Leave some for me, leave some for me,'" - and both of them were in a state of janaabah (impurity). [Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 4/6]
The ways in which the Prophet (SAW) showed affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show his affection towards Hasan and Husayn, as mentioned above. This is probably one of the reason why the children used to rejoice when he came back from travelling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported in the saheeh hadith:
"Whenever he came back from a journey, the children of his household would be taken out to meet him."
He (SAW) used to hug them close to him, as 'Abd-Allah ibn Jafar (RA) said:
"Whenever the Prophet (SAW) came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He carried one of us in front of him, and another on his back, until we entered Madeenah." [Saheeh Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the commentary in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 8/56]
Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there are no truthful jokes (i.e., jokes that do not involve lying), no affection and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah (RA) who said:
"The Messenger of Allah (SAW) kissed al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, and al-Aqra' ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allah (SAW) looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'"

Speaking to The Point of Backbiting

We all know as Muslims we shouldn't backbite yet sometimes we forget and other times we don't know we are actually backbiting.
In the Qur’an Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) says “O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin, and do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? But you abhor it; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, surely Allah is Oft-returning (to mercy), Merciful.” [Al-Hujaraat: 12]
Also this authentic hadith (below) teaches us some more about backbiting and how easy it is to do it.
The Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) was looking into marrying Safiyyah (Radhi Allahu 'Anhum). Aisha (Radhi Allahu 'Anhum) saw her yet out of natural jealousy really didn't want the Prophet to marry her. So the Prophet asked Aisha about her and Aisha said she was nice and everything was good about her, but then Aisha made a gesture with her hand to show that Safiyyah was short. In response to this the Prophet said just this gesture; if she were to put it into an ocean it would stain the whole ocean. [Sunan Abu Dawud, 41:4857]
Just this simple gesture which seems to many of us not to be backbiting was backbiting indeed and was a very serious thing. Many of us may be thinking what was the harm in this as it was only the truth. The reason the Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) reprimanded Aisha was because it was meant as something bad, something to show that Safiyyah was not good enough and something that she would not want said about her. So the Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) responded the way he did to show us that even this was wrong for her to do.
We also learn from another hadith that people who backbite often have hypocrisy in their hearts. In a rough translation of the hadith the Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) said, “Oh you who don't believe totally in your hearts (have hypocrisy in their hearts), do not backbite or follow those people who backbite”. [Sunan Abu Dawud, 41:4862]
We learn from this hadith that we should not follow the people who backbite and we should not be one of those people. The Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) is actually addressing those people who have hypocrisy in their hearts, to show how major of a sin this backbiting is. It is so major that a person who does it often can easily fall into hypocrisy, and if this continues can become a munafiq and fall out of Islam. So we must watch everything we do to ensure we are not transgressing on our fellow Muslims.
We cannot transgress on a Muslim no matter what. This counts for his wealth and his honor. Backbiting falls into this, because it is transgression and can ruin a person’s honor and make them look bad. Also the above hadith shows we should not oppress a fellow Muslim, even with our tongue. We also cannot forsake him when he is oppressed by others. Meaning we cannot join in on the oppression or look down upon him because other people are backbiting on him or because others are oppressing him.
There are also major punishments for the people who backbite. When the Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) went on the journey called Israw wal Mahraj he saw some in hellfire with claws poking and clawing at their eyes. When he asked Jibril about these people he was told these were the gossipers and backbiters. So this is one of the punishments we learn from this journey our beloved Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) went on. Also the Prophet (Salla Allahu 'Alayhee wa Sallam) told us in an authentic hadith that the losers would be those who were about to enter Jannah but then right before they entered the gates someone would come to them and take their good deeds for backbiting them, then another person, and another and another, until all his good deeds were gone, then the next person would come and dumb his bad deeds on the man until all the people he had backbitten receive compensation from this person, then he would be cast into hellfire.
Subhanallah, truly the person mention in the above hadith is a loser. Imagine being on your way to Jannah, excited and pleased with yourself then seeing a crowd of people gathering behind you. Then as you are entering into Jannah the people of this crowd stop you and begin to take from your good deeds and continue on like this until you have nothing. Imagine then being thrown into hell fire, thrown into the worse punishment imaginable all because of your tongue, all because of the words you would not keep from coming out. Such a severe punishment shows us how dangerous this action is and should prevent us from doing such a thing.
Another aspect of backbiting is that it is as if you were eating the flesh of the person you were backbiting, who of us would want to do this? So fear Allah and ask for forgiveness for your sins, because backbiting is not a minor sin, it is a major one!
To conclude Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) has promised us rewards for protecting the honor of our brothers and sisters. Meaning you do not backbite or lie on them and when others are doing this you stop them. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) promises us that if we protect the honor of our brothers and sisters then Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) will protect our honor. Likewise if we don't then Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) will not protect our honor as well. Who does not want the reward of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) and who does not want their honor protected by the best of protectors? So we should truly watch what we say and keep silent unless we have something productive to contribute. With this mindset and with implementing this in our lives we are guaranteed to be on the right track. As Muslims we mold our lives around the manners and etiquettes Islam teaches us so let us continue on with this aspect and further our development as righteous people.

Exceptions for Backbiting

It is also useful to understand the exceptions for backbiting so when it may seem someone is backbiting we will know that it is permissible.

1. Forbidding a bigger evil
   
   If speaking about a person will stop a bigger evil then it is permissible to do so, even if the person may not want such a thing said. For example if someone is known to abuse people and a sister would like to marry this man, it is permissible to tell the sister about this aspect of him and anything else that she should know about.


2. Wanting to ask about a Fiqh issue
   
   This exception comes directly from a situation in which a Sahabah had to speak about someone else in order to find the proper Islamic ruling for the situation. This exception is to be used when speaking to someone of knowledge and when the person asking is sincere in finding the ruling for the situation.


3. Deter from evil, innovation, and leading one astray
   
   It is permissible to speak about a person who may be evil or leading people astray. For example if a person is giving da’wah at a mass scale and his understanding of Islam is incorrect or what he is teaching is incorrect it is permissible to warn and speak against him. Likewise if someone has problems in their Aqeedah it is permissible to tell others about this person to deter them from believing his mistakes.


4. A nickname that is the norm for the person and is in widespread use
   
   This example also comes from the Sahabah as they used to have nicknames which they called one another. Some of which would seem to be slanderous but amongst themselves the names were not. If everyone agrees that the name is okay and it becomes popular then it is permissible to call the person that name, even if it may seem insulting. However, if the person does not wish to be called such a name, then one cannot call him it.


5. A person who does his or her sins in public
   
   If a person publicly does haram then it is okay to speak about them. For example if a person openly drinks alcohol and does not try to conceal himself at all, then there is no sin on speaking about him. Likewise if a person fornicates or does other haram in public, there is no sin on speaking about him.


6. When authenticating a story or hadith
   
   When authenticating a story of hadith we must know every detail of each person who narrated it in the chain. The reason for this is if someone is known to be a liar, then we do not take from their narrations. In this situation it is not haram to speak about someone for it is required in order to authenticate what he may have said or related to us.

So now we know a bit more and inshallah we will stop from talking nonsense. Now we know 'Silence is Wisdom' so keep silent unless you have something positive to contribute. Also refrain from idle talk because it can lead to evil things and because it is also talk that does no good, and can cause much harm. We must also watch what we say because we may be backbiting a person and not even know it. If we just look around us we will see situations where brothers or sisters may be backbiting each other and not even realize it. Now that we know the evils of backbiting and speaking without knowledge we should spend our time teaching it to others and stopping others from doing such acts. With this inshallah we will grow and continue to stay strong in this deen.
Oh Allah keep us strong and keep us away from backbiting and gossiping. Oh Allah keep us away from those who backbite. Protect us from the evil eye and protect us from the Dajjal. Oh Allah protect us from the evil you have created. Make us of those who speak of that which you love and forbid that which you hate. Make it so our tongues only speak what is truthful and never do injustice. Increase us in our deen and keep us of those who ask for forgiveness. Keep us strong in this deen and allow us to die for your cause, and your cause alone.

Lemantations of Muslim Wife

Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala has said, "... Marry of the women that please you; two, three or four, but if you fear you will not be able to deal justly, then only one..." [Quraan 4:3]. I have looked to this statement many times. Some people point out to me the part that speaks of dealing justly, and they match it with, "And you have it not in your power to do justice between wives, even though you may wish (it), but be not disinclined (from one) with total disinclination, so that you leave her as it were in suspense; and if you effect a reconciliation and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." [Quraan 4:129]
Here, they say, it is impossible for a person to be fair, therefore it is not allowed to marry more than one. This does not match what is written. The verse says to not desert them. How can this be a command to not marry more than one? Also, I find this theory hard to accept since I know that the prophet, the companions, the second generation, the third generation and so forth were all practicers of polygyny. If it were wrong, or even makru - as some state - then we would not find the majority among our best generations practicing it.
Then, we have others who claim that Polygyny is only in cases where war has taken the majority of the men, or in special circumstances - like when the woman can not bear children or when the woman is sick. However, once again, I do not find this the case when I look to the history of Islam. It was not less practiced by the wise knowledgable ones in Islamic history in times of peace, nor was it ever restricted to certain conditions. Actually, we don't begin to see any problems with polygyny as a practice until the West began to exert influence over the Muslims.
Even as recently as the first World War, we see the bedouin Arabs proud of the fact that they have this practice as a part of their religion. What few problems we have are seen in the apologists who were trying to please the West by softening the image of Islam. These people even apologized for the practice of divorce which Islam allowed for centuries, while Christianity forbid it. Now, I wish I could see the faces of these same apologists if they could see the divorce rate of the West. Would they stop apologizing for it now that the West has not only accepted the practice, but embraced it wholeheartedly?
At any rate, when I look to this verse, I clearly see the if - then statement. As a computer lover, this immediately strikes me. If - then. This is a simple logic problem. Do A. If A is not possible, then do B giving precedence to A and using B as an exception to the rule. Therefore, when we apply it, we see that the man is commanded to marry two or three or four, but IF he can not be just, then he marries only one. The one, therefore becomes the exception to the rule. Now, if this is true, then why is it that today, not only is polygyny not the rule, it is the exception, and those who practice it are often criticized? Can it be that we have so many men who consider themselves unjust? I doubt it. I believe it lies in the attitudes of our women, may Allah guide us. We have been brainwashed by the Western ideal of one man-one wife. We need to listen to our scholars; so many of them have warned us to look to ourselves because this issue may be the one which makes us Kafir. May Allah prevent this from happening.
Whenever I discuss this subject with women, the first thing I normally hear, a statement which makes me cringe, is, "But it's not fair..." Allah forgive the one who makes such a statement, for it is an utterance of shirk. For the one who made polygyny not only halal but also recommended was Allah, Himself. Therefore, whatever He, in his Great Fairness and Wisdom, has allowed and encouraged is fair by definition. And to say it is unfair is to say that He, Subhana wa Ta'ala, is unfair. May Allah guard our tongues from such blasphemy.
Muslim women have to take their minds out of the gutters of the West, and bring them up to the wisdom and purity of Islam's high ground. Polygyny is not an insult to women; it is a sign of respect. How many women would remain husbandless if it were haram? Sisters, I beg you. Look to your sisters in the Muslim countries. The number of single women has climbed so high that special laws are being created to try to fix the situation (While I know that many of these laws are misguided and based on fear of cultural intermixing, the fact the problem has reached epidemic proportions is undeniable even to them). In some countries, your sisters are having to resort to such misguided practices as temporary marriage, because polygyny is so looked down upon. May Allah forgive us for making this so.
Even, when a sister does choose to go into polygyny, her fellow sisters look to her as a traitor, and often treat her worse than an adultress. They akin it to stealing someone's husband. Many of our sisters are ostracized and even humiliated, or worse cursed for practicing an act that our Loving Lord recommended to us. May Allah guide us. Wallahi, it pains me to see the treatment given to second, third and fourth wives. Sisters, we are so caught up in this idea that we possess our men, that even the second or third wife feels she has a right to prevent the inclusion of another into the relationship that benefitted her. Where are our minds? Where is our faith in Allah's Wisdom? Where is our submission to the Will of Allah? Where is our love for each other? Where is the wanting for our sisters what we want for ourselves, namely family, love and happiness?
We were not placed on this earth to do anything but worship Allah, and we have to this as He commanded, not as our desires and jealousies guide us. We are allowed to be jealous. Aisha and the other Mothers of the Believers, may Allah have mercy on them, were jealous, but they did not allow their jealousy to destroy their deen, and I challenge anyone to show me an example where one of them, or one of the female companions, or even one of the second or third generation ever condemned a woman for becoming a second, third or fourth wife. It was accepted as a part of the deen. Sure, women tried to keep their husbands from taking the second, third or fourth wife. Sure they were jealous of each other. Sure, they even tried (until the prophet forbid it) to ask for the divorce of the other. But once they knew their limits, they submitted to the Will of Allah. So why is it so hard for us? Why can we not follow these great examples instead of the examples of the Western woman who has no respect for herself, much less her peers?
Sisters, I am not asking you to go and ask your husbands to take another wife, but I am asking you to accept this as a natural, acceptable, even preferable practice of Islam. If you are stronger in your faith, I see only blessings in asking your husband to help out a sister in need by marrying her. Imagine yourself a single mother, an unmarried woman past her prime, or a widow, alone without support.
Sisters, these are your sisters, and Allah forbid, it could be you one day. Have mercy on these women. And if they marry your husband or your friend's husband, do not condemn them, curse them, ostracize them, boycott them or harass them. They have done the best. They have married rather that commit haram. They have followed the command of Allah in marrying. They have completed their religion, and the one who objects to it, even silently in her heart, has to reexamine her faith in Allah. She has to accept this as Allah's religion and as the superior way, because and -- only because -- Allah said that it is so.
May Allah guide us all to accept His decree. May Allah make us all strong in following, practicing and accepting this great deen in its entirety, and may Allah give us the strength faith and support to fight our desires. Ameen.